Post by Kenneth Rodman on Nov 7, 2016 2:21:21 GMT -5
The Answer is shown in a cemetery, below him text that reads "Buffalo, New York". He's wearing a suit, sunglasses, and his hair is in a ponytail. "Hello, my friends. Last week, a great man died. A great ship sunk, as some would say. Yes, I'm talking about Titanic. The lovable Electric Ice member died after getting his face utterly fucked by a glass door. Now, let me just say, that that was the best part of the match. I wasn't actually terrified, inside I couldn't stop laughing. That's the reason i didn't win, the reason I got hit by something a wise man I know calls the flippiest of shits. I'm not even very mad. So for all of you, and to celebrate the life of Titanic, I made a special video. Enjoy."
The video package contained two clips: the Answer hitting Graceful Calamity on Titanic on the October 5 Vindication and the missed Spear that 'cost Titanic his life'. In the background, My Heart Will Go On played. After those clips finished, a banner is shown on screen for five seconds. It has a picture of Titanic, and below it reads "RIP Titanic. 1912(?) - 2016".
The Answer claps. "I have also organized a video for all of you of me organizing his funeral. The actual funeral begins in a couple of minutes. Enjoy this, too." He says.
It cuts to the Answer outside a house. "From what I understand, this is the Titanic family residence. No one is there right now, I don't know if anyone lives here, but let's go inside. If someone does, I get enough money to pay for home invasion charges. Let's go!" He says, fishing into the house.
Inside the house, there is a couch and TV, underneath the TV an assortment of VHSs. "VHSs? This is gonna be fun. I'm bored, so..." The Answer pulls out a randomly chose VHS. It's Titanic, the James Cameron film. "How was I expecting this?" He says, putting it down. He pulls out another VHS. "Titanic: The Legend Goes On?" The Answer reads off the cover. "What the fuck is this?"
The Answer is on the couch. Below him, text reads "90 Minutes Later". Titanic: The Legend Goes On had just finished. Answer's eyes are wide open, his jaw dropped. He's holding a bag of movie popcorn. Silently, he gets off the couch, goes in front of it and gets in a fetal position. He groans, and a single tear goes down his left eye.
Later, the Answer is talking outside the house to a man in a suit. The two shake hands and the man walks away. "I just bought Titanic's house!" It cuts to him in the house's dance floor. He is clearly very happy as he connects his phone to the floor's Bluetooth speaker. "I HAVE THE FUCKING POWER!" He yells, putting on Brotherman Bill by Terrible Tim. He pulls out another phone and leaves.
This video ends, and we're back at the Answer at the cemetery. "Next to me is the coffin. From what I understand, he wanted himself and his belongings cremated." He opens the coffin, revealing a very well made model of the late Titanic as well as a copy of the movie Titanic, Titanic: The Legend Goes On, the book Raise the Titanic by Clive Cussler, a screenshot of Titanic, Oklahoma, and Nintendo Entertainment System bootleg video game Titenic. He closes the coffin and gives a speech. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Titanic. He was such an hero. I will miss him a lot." He douses the coffin in gasoline, takes a match out of a matchbox, lights it, and sets the coffin ablaze. The Answer watches for a few seconds, and then says "Sayonara, douchebag."
After a few more seconds, the Answer smirks. "Hey..." he says. "You wanna see the... Good Question?" My Heart Will Go On begins to play again as the Answer begins to take a piss on the coffin. The "Good Question" is not shown on screen but the piss is clearly shown.
After a little while, it cuts to the casket being almost fully burnt, My Heart Will Go On still playing. The Answer takes the ashes, puts them in his pocket and yells "REST IN PEEEEEEEEACE!!!"
The video package contained two clips: the Answer hitting Graceful Calamity on Titanic on the October 5 Vindication and the missed Spear that 'cost Titanic his life'. In the background, My Heart Will Go On played. After those clips finished, a banner is shown on screen for five seconds. It has a picture of Titanic, and below it reads "RIP Titanic. 1912(?) - 2016".
The Answer claps. "I have also organized a video for all of you of me organizing his funeral. The actual funeral begins in a couple of minutes. Enjoy this, too." He says.
It cuts to the Answer outside a house. "From what I understand, this is the Titanic family residence. No one is there right now, I don't know if anyone lives here, but let's go inside. If someone does, I get enough money to pay for home invasion charges. Let's go!" He says, fishing into the house.
Inside the house, there is a couch and TV, underneath the TV an assortment of VHSs. "VHSs? This is gonna be fun. I'm bored, so..." The Answer pulls out a randomly chose VHS. It's Titanic, the James Cameron film. "How was I expecting this?" He says, putting it down. He pulls out another VHS. "Titanic: The Legend Goes On?" The Answer reads off the cover. "What the fuck is this?"
The Answer is on the couch. Below him, text reads "90 Minutes Later". Titanic: The Legend Goes On had just finished. Answer's eyes are wide open, his jaw dropped. He's holding a bag of movie popcorn. Silently, he gets off the couch, goes in front of it and gets in a fetal position. He groans, and a single tear goes down his left eye.
Later, the Answer is talking outside the house to a man in a suit. The two shake hands and the man walks away. "I just bought Titanic's house!" It cuts to him in the house's dance floor. He is clearly very happy as he connects his phone to the floor's Bluetooth speaker. "I HAVE THE FUCKING POWER!" He yells, putting on Brotherman Bill by Terrible Tim. He pulls out another phone and leaves.
This video ends, and we're back at the Answer at the cemetery. "Next to me is the coffin. From what I understand, he wanted himself and his belongings cremated." He opens the coffin, revealing a very well made model of the late Titanic as well as a copy of the movie Titanic, Titanic: The Legend Goes On, the book Raise the Titanic by Clive Cussler, a screenshot of Titanic, Oklahoma, and Nintendo Entertainment System bootleg video game Titenic. He closes the coffin and gives a speech. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Titanic. He was such an hero. I will miss him a lot." He douses the coffin in gasoline, takes a match out of a matchbox, lights it, and sets the coffin ablaze. The Answer watches for a few seconds, and then says "Sayonara, douchebag."
After a few more seconds, the Answer smirks. "Hey..." he says. "You wanna see the... Good Question?" My Heart Will Go On begins to play again as the Answer begins to take a piss on the coffin. The "Good Question" is not shown on screen but the piss is clearly shown.
After a little while, it cuts to the casket being almost fully burnt, My Heart Will Go On still playing. The Answer takes the ashes, puts them in his pocket and yells "REST IN PEEEEEEEEACE!!!"